For Better or Worse?

FOR BETTER…OR WORSE?

A story for grown-ups

By

Steve Fiffer

Some say as you age life gets better,

Well, you judge after reading this verse.

Are we boomers like wine or a carton of milk?

Is life better or does it get worse?

You cannot remember his birthday,

Your keys disappear from your purse.

You rinse and repeat ‘til the toothpaste runs out,

Is life better or does it get worse?

You can’t get a rise in the morning,

Your sex drive is stuck in reverse.

Your spouse suggests separate bedrooms,

Is life better or does it get worse?

Your mother, who’s 90, won’t shut-up,

But your son and your daughter are terse.

They prefer texting or email to chat,

Is life better or does it get worse?

Jars are now harder to open,

One last twist hurts your wrist and you curse,

You can’t open the pills to ease you new pain,

Is life better or does it get worse?

Weakened eyes make it hard to read menus,

Weakened ears make it hard to converse.

Weakened bladder makes sleeping a nightmare,

Is life better or does it get worse?

When you smile at the girl in the health club,

She thinks that you’re being perverse.

You’re nearing the end of your cycle,

Is life better or does it get worse?

Your speed dial no longer has golf pro and barber,

Instead it has doctor and nurse.

They treat you as if you’re an infant,

Is life better or does it get worse?

No matter the depth of the water,

Your belly it cannot immerse.

You float in the pool like a white whale,

Is life better or does it get worse?

You thought you would have enough money,

But the effect of the crash was adverse.

It’s hard to emerge from depression,

Is life better or does it get worse?

You’re bemoaning the downside of aging,

When you’re suddenly passed by a hearse.

Then it strikes you: despite all your problems

It certainly could be much worse.

**

So you cannot remember his birthday,

He stopped counting a long time ago.

And so what if you shampooed with toothpaste?

Your hair has a smile and a glow.

Yes you’re slower to rise in the morning,

It happens to everyone’s glands.

But isn’t it okay if once in a while

You’re happy just to hold hands?

Bless your stars that you still have a mother,

And kids who deep down really care.

They may put you on hold when you call them,

But you know that they’ll always be there.

Run warm water on jars that won’t open,

If pill bottles won’t budge don’t get hot.

Speed-dial doctor and nurse ASAP

And ask for medicinal pot.

Deaf ears are not always a drawback,

What you’d hear you might very well dread.

So pretend you agree with the speaker

By grinning and nodding your head.

Yeah the girl in the gym wasn’t buying,

But what would you do if she did?

She’s not only stronger than you are

She’s barely as old as your kid.

When the folks at the pool eye your belly,

With gallons, not ounces, of wonder,

Remember the bloat serves a function.

It keeps you from going down under.

Your 401 k has gone south for the winter,

Leaving you in the ice and the snow.

History says it will bounce back while you’re still alive.

If it doesn’t, who cares?  You won’t know.

Life is a series of moments,

Some set in stone, some unplanned.

So unless you’d prefer to be in that hearse

Why not live for the moment at hand.

Copyright Steve Fiffer 2011
(but feel free to send this link to others)